Neglect and Its Impact Upon Children

Reader Caveat:  the following article is about personal and religious opinions on parenting, and not about crime and specific Statement Analysis.  If you find the above offensive, please skip this post as unrelated to most of the content (and purpose) of this blog.     Peter and Heather

Statement Analysis is best done in first language.  In the case of Breeann Rodriquez, however, video and audio allowed us to make a judgement to this question:


Were Breeann's parents speaking instinctively in English, or were they first translating?

The Spanish/English was something I paused with until I heard the father speak.  He appeared instinctive; meaning that he is not translating first.

Was the polygraph conducted in English, or in Spanish?

What part of the polygraph did they fail?  Were there questions they passed?  We await answers.

Here is what we know:

1.  Within a few days of Breeann's disappearance, the mother spoke of her in past tense, indicating that she knew or believed that Breeann was dead.   Now, police say that she is dead by suffocation, though they do not have the body.  This means that they believe the suspect is telling the truth.

2.  Statement Analysis indicated deception on part of the parents.  Edgard Rodriqez, the father, told Nancy Grace that they both failed the polygraph.

After listening to the parents, in particular, the father speak, I believe that his language came without that inner translation, giving a green light to analysis in English.  If he had to translate first (noted by a distinct pause), then it would be best done by a spanish analyst.

In this case, Statement Analysis showed that he was deceptive.  Then, he said he failed a polygraph.  We have an agreement between the two sciences.

What Statement Analysis cannot tell always is why a person is lying.

If we have a larger sample, it often becomes clear, and this is where the analyst has to make a judgement call:

If there are x amount of indicators of sensitivity, and we have missing information, can we conclude why?  Often we can. especially in cases where the parents speak often to the press.  The more they speak, the more we know.

Here, we cannot.  We do not have enough sample.  The same goes for Celina Cass.  We cannot say "the mother is involved" because we do not know.  We do not have enough statements from her to know.

I have questions about the Breeann case:

Why did the mother believe Breeann was dead?

Why is the 10AM time frame sensitive to the father?

What questions did he fail in the polygraph?

Why is the bike so sensitive to the father?

Why does the chief believe Breeann was strangled?  This is the first time I recall a cause of death released before evidence is found.  This is concerning.

I first posted that they should:
1.  Insist on polygraph
2 .  Tell police EVERYTHING, including drugs, affairs, CPS hx, gambling, debts, enemies, and so on.  No matter how embarrassing or even how much trouble, come clean.

If the parents were intoxicated, for example, and left her alone and she was taken by a predator, they likely feared having the other children taken away from them if they admitted intoxication.

I hope the lying was only this, and not a greater connection to the killer.

Regardless, Breeann, like Celina Cass, is dead and the precursor to death is Neglect. 

We know that Neglect contributed to the death of both children.

Celina's mother moved in Wendell Noyes into her home given his criminal history, this is neglect.

Breeann's mother (and perhaps father) allowed her outside alone.  Since the father's sensitivity regarding 10AM is indicated, we can safely presume she was not left alone for but a few minutes.  Even his description of her morning indicates Neglect.

There is more to this story than we now know.

There is a concern that drugs have played a role in the death of Breeann.

It is possible that the parents lied (failed the polygraph) because they lied about drug abuse and leaving the children unattended, in fear of losing their other children. We will likely learn why deception was indicated in their statements as more news is released.

The local church that held a vigil and encouraged the community, while Breeann was still being searched for as living, will likely warn the people of the danger and risk found in Neglect.  To allow a 3 year old out on her own is neglect.  To have a 5 year old supervise a 3 year old is neglect.

Drugs in a household with children is neglect.

Drugs and children do not mix.

Drugs and children are a terrible combination, as so many thousands upon thousands of children have come to painfully know.  Some end like Hailey Dunn, or Breeann Rodriquez.  Others suffer irreparable harm as parents lay intoxicated while the children's safety and wellbeing is neglected.

In the South, I knew of an adorable 3 year old diagnosed with "Reactive Attachment Disorder" and was angry that she had been diagnosed at so young an age.  It seemed implausible that this child would never form healthy and strong attachments in life.  I trusted, however, the skill of the psychologist, and sought answers.

This poor child, since her earliest days, lived under a bed.

Her parents were drug abusers who knew how to game the system for money, shelter, and even were able to get a car, (moved from State to State to avoid payments and repossession) and to get tax money to pay for hotels for them.  They were described as brilliant at exploiting social services and charity organizations.    They went from hotel to hotel, got a free computer, (of which was used to hook up with local drug dealers), free clothing, dental and medical care (for themselves...they did not take their child to the doctors for reasons that will become obvious)  It was as if they worked full time at getting things for free while seeking drugs.   When she was found, before her 3rd birthday, her life was described to me as follows:

Her parents would spend the day seeking drugs, and once they got the drugs, they would go back to the tax-payer paid hotel and get high.  The little girl would hide under the bed (they were able to get a double room; two beds) while her father and mother lay in the next bed, high.  When she would attempt to come out from the bed, her mother would scream, viciously loud and with a throttled voice that comes from the extreme:  "Get the f*** back under there!"   This was all she knew.  In fact, later, it was where she felt safest.  The only time they were nice to her was when their high first began, so for about 15 minutes, they would call her over to them, speak gently to her, but then would become sleepy and send her 'away' (back under the bed).  When they awoke, in need of drugs, they were monsters again.  She learned survival and eventually stopped responding to the soft vocal cues knowing that they would not last.

As years passed, the little girl could not understand or grasp closeness or affection.  She went into various foster homes in different states across the South.  A decade later, she never bonded with a human being and experts say she never will.  She can only mimic what she sees, but does not have empathy for others.

Her mother went on to become a spokesperson in her state for 'abused' parents who were victims of 'the system'.

I believe that our scientific development into the study of the brain will one day allow a MRI-like measurement of the brain and be able to pinpoint the damage of neglect, look at the MRI (or MRI like technological production) and see "here, this represents the first 2 years of life and we can see that the brain was not stimulated, and as time passed, it was unable to be repaired..."

Vicious soviet-era studies showed that children given the exact same nutrition as others, yet done (deliberately for the purpose of study) without human contact, had a high percentage of mental retardation.  The children given the same nutrition but allowed to be held, cuddled, and spoken to by the nurses, had few samples of MR later.

Neglect's impact lasts a lifetime.

I have heard 40 year olds openly wonder why, for example, a parent did not offer praise for a report card from the 3rd grade, and how the lack of recognition eroded confidence, even later in life.  Grown ups sometimes over-eat, just in fear that food won't be there for them due to childhood neglect.  Whatever the form, early childhood neglect leaves its fingerprints on the human for the entire life.  The stories are endless and the pain can last a lifetime.  It is why forgiveness, itself, is not only necessary, but healthy.

Acute neglect will sometimes produce excellence in parenting, where the parent who grew up neglected,  like others abused, makes a personal vow in life to never neglect (or abuse) their own children.

Some will dismiss the case of Breeann and say "she was only left alone, one time, for a few minutes, when a predator got to her."  

I disagree.

Edgar's description of Breeann's day shows neglect.  A 3 year old getting up at 10AM, washing and brushing her teeth, making her own breakfast, and then going outside, is a disaster waiting to happen, and here, it did.  The fact that he was unafraid to tell the world of his 3 year old's schedule tells me much.  What people are willing to say (and do) publicly is a shadow of what happens behind closed doors. It is like the momma at walmart that wails on her child with angry words.  I am left shuttering at the thought of what the child experiences behind closed doors.  The slap to the face is insult; being created in the Image of God, it is an insult to dignity.  If it happens in public, imagine what happens in private.

Too many of these cases leave us wondering, "what was this parent thinking allowing their child to..." which then is responded to with harsh comments saying "how dare you judge!"

The local church is liking going to take this tragedy and warn its people about the danger of neglect.

In today's world, children should not be unsupervised on the computer, nor walking down the street alone.   For every case where a child is kidnapped out of her bedroom, due to no neglect on the part of the family, there is another 100 where neglect is present.

If a child is known to run off, do you really allow her to walk home watched only by children?

Neglect is without sense.  Drugs and alcohol abuse invite neglect into a home where the children consider it an unwelcome intrusion.

Were drugs part of Breeann's life?  Is there a history of drugs by the parents?

                               Did drugs play a part in her death?

If you are using drugs and have children, you must know that you are putting them at risk. If you think you have it under control, you are deceiving yourself.  People who sell drugs are not ethical.  They know the damage that their product does.  They do not care.  When you invite a drug seller into your life, you invite the drug seller into your child's life.   You have now increased the risk to your child.

I remember an amazing sermon I heard many years ago from a pastor in New Jersey.  He had a missionary visiting his home and he and the man stayed up that night talking, as the man described how often he had to leave home (wife and children) in order to preach at various locations.

The next morning, the missionary came down for breakfast and the pastor said, (something along these lines), "Before we eat, there is something I have to tell you.  This thought was driven home to me last night, while I did not sleep.  "God never calls a man to sacrifice duty; only privilege."   You leave your children, for months at a time, without a father, and your wife without a husband.  This is wrong.  You have a duty as a father first..."

The man was stunned speechless.

I thought of that point when, as a young dad, friends spoke of going sky-diving.  It was something I always wanted to do, but in thinking about that incredible sermon, I declined.  I felt that for me, I should not be taking an unnecessary risk because no one could raise my son like me, should something happen to me.  I could not base my life on pulling of a string, knowing that a simple malfunction would leave my son without a father.  It was not my job (that would be "duty" and not "privilege"; but only a thrill for me, that I could (and did) live without.  For those who's work (duty) consists of certain risk taking, it is different.  My unmarried, childless buddy could jump out of a plane if he so chose to do so, but struggled to understand my response; especially since it was something he knew I wanted to do for years.

The lesson went deep into my heart.  As a father, I had to ask myself if I had the right to do such and such, knowing that my children would be impacted.  Even regarding my free time and the pursuit of things that I loved, these things needed to be subordinate to the needs of the children.

I found time to play ice hockey, guitar, and chess, but not at the expense of the children.

Mothers are known for exhaustion.  They are in desperate need of rest and to refresh their souls.  Teachers, for example, (the great ones) rely upon inspiration to get their students excited about learning.  I am a strong advocate of summers off for teachers, as they must refresh their creative juices in order to inspire students to learn.  Mothers are the primary teachers, beginning at birth.  With a newborn, I always ask the young mother the same question:  "Are you getting your sleep?" which is a gentle reminder to the father.  Usually, this question, asked in his presence, is all it takes.

Later, as the child grows, I gently ask about reading.

If the parents are reading to the child, the stimulation will have a profound impact.  If the child thinks the TV is the babysitter, we are going to have struggles in early education.  I say, over and over, the passivity of the TV does not stimulate as much as a book, and there is no substitution for a child having a parent read to him or her; to the child, it is a wonderful closeness. This child will follow in mommy or daddy's footsteps and learn to read.

Reading will then increase stimulation.  The child will learn that he or she can take marvelous trips, all over the world, via books.  The brain not only must process the wording, but will then have to rely upon brainwork (imagination) to create a scene, whereas a tv show or movie does it for the child).

I love movies and balance is always advisable.  But a child raised on television not only suffers from passivity, but learns the lessons of TV:

the poor kid always scores at Christmas

the teenaged girl is always right, and her stodgy old father is always wrong...She should follow her heart (i.e. sex) and not the father's wisdom.

the hard working (rich) guy is always wrong for the young lady, but the street kid who doesn't "conform" to "9 to 5" and is irresponsible, is the best choice because he is "true" to his heart....

And so goes the lessons of television.

It is far easier to put the kids in front of a television than it is to actively engage them, but the rewards of investing yourself into your child or grandchild's life  can pay dividends for a lifetime.

Long after I have forgotten the details, I still remember my uncle's kindness when he picked me and my younger brother up, and brought us to Shea Stadium, to see my beloved Mets play, with my heroes of Tom Seaver, Jerry Grote and Bud Harrelson.

There was a critical moment, however, that helped shape my life.

My brother and I stared longingly at the concession stand, especially at the scorebooks and the little baseball pen-bats.   But we had been raised to never ask for anything and we didn't have money for these things.  (I am dating myself away from the Entitlement Generation)

First, my uncle said, "aren't you boys going to score the game?"  Of course, by 10 years old, I knew how to score a game, but I didn't bring a piece of paper!  He saw the delight in our faces and bought, not one to share but TWO of the scorecards (that is what they were called by then, when workers would call out, "hey, scorecards, get your scorecards here, scorecards, you can't tell your player without a scorecard!").  We were always used to having one and sharing, one of whatever, and this was fine with us, but to have our own was a dream!

"You'll need pens!" he said.  "Pens?  Not pencils?  Does he know how good I am, how I don't need a pencil to erase mistakes?"  I had done many, many games, and knew the players middle names, even.

He then produced the two baseball bat pens for us!
It was 1972 and as we walked through the dark tunnels of Shea Stadium, having only seen games on television, my eyes were suddenly shocked with the brightest color of green I had ever seen, as the field became visible.

He had gotten us there early, he said, "you don't want to miss warm ups, do you?"  Not a chance!

That one day has stayed with me my entire life.  His kindness shaped my life and my view towards children.

The single day of kindness has given me 39 years of pleasurable memories.

This is what it is like with each approving glance, each soft word, each moment of tenderness.  Long after you have forgotten who left the cap off the toothpaste, your child will remember how her teeth were important to you, not the cap.  A moment's anger is not worth it. It is without value.

Peter Lynch, the famed investor said, "no one on their death bed says "I wish I spent more time at the office" as they look back on their lives" but that they would have invested more time; that is, more of their own selves, into their children.

It is exhausting but rewarding.

Dads, give moms frequent breaks.  Not only will she love you for it, but your children will benefit from her renewed creativity.

Moms, bridle that tongue.  There is only a short, small, window of opportunity to make a life long impact upon your child.

In our world, children cannot be left to their own devices.  Imagine the horror of a lifetime to know that a parent may have been lazily in front of the television instead of watching the child, who is now lost, forever.

I can't.

Learn the lessons from these cases.  Learn them for your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and all children you love and care for.

Love seeks the highest good of its object.

When someone says "I love you" for it to be genuine, it means that they seek your highest good.  Loving a child means setting appropriate boundaries.  Love is hard work.  Love doesn't always feel good, but brings forth good.  Love is beyond the boundaries of culture.  Love doesn't seek its own, is not selfish, and has to make some difficult choices.

Children were created, specifically, to receive love.

Think of a child and a pet.

The child pet relationship is a shadow of greater love to come later in life.  The child experiences what it is like to have life dependent upon one self, an amazing sense of responsibility.   When a teenaged girl wants a child to receive love, the child is going to be neglected, as the child's vulnerability places it in the position of needing love rather than giving love.

We often ask the mother of a new-born:  "How do you discipline your child?" knowing that any answer other than "she's a baby!  She can't be disciplined!" is a red flag for abuse, and is likely indicative of generational neglect.

Just as sweet memories of love last a lifetime, and can carry down from generation to generation, so it is that neglect can be visited, like a curse, on generation to generation.

Breeann's life was marked by neglect, and it appears, her life has come to an end because she wasn't being watched.

This leads to my final question that we will need more information to answer:

If Breeann had been watched by her mother, would she be alive today?

Neglect kills.



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